Iv booked a holiday to india.We leave on friday for 2 weeks.Im going to hide in another country for a while.Im sure the grief has a ticket too and will come with us but I have to do something.I cant keep rattling round in this house going through Rubys clothes and pictures.
I look like shit.Really shit.Before Ruby I would use the term " I look like death" but I know know what that looks like first hand and I dont look like that.I've just put a colour on my hair - I seem to have gone grey overnight so am sat here writing this covered in red hair dye trying not to let it drip everywhere!
I hardly slept at all last night.Lay in bed thinking the most random of things, and then of course I started crying.At least Im managing to keep it together in front of the kids.I only cry now with Justin or on my own.He's been working all day and Im really missing him.Still he will be home soon .....
